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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Mr. Little No! No!

The Little One

My little one turned two a couple weeks ago. Since then he has been a nightmare! For starters, his new favorite word is "No!" Here's how our typical conversation goes:

"Baby, do you want milk?"
"No!"
"Do you want juice?"
"No!" 
"Do you want to eat cereal?"
"No!"

I look at him to see if he'll point at something he may want, then this happens:

"No! No! No! No!"

He throws his bottle at me then the blood curling scream mixed in with the crying ensues for a good 20 minutes. So, what am I going to do about this kid who does this to me everyday? Believe me a lot of thoughts traveled through my mind. For one, I was going to ship him off to my mom back home. However, that would be too easy. Maybe have a kid auction on eBay? Nah! Too mean and besides, I'd probably miss the little bugger too (thus, the other reason not to ship him off to mom's). I know! I can make "daddy" look like the bad guy and say that daddy is coming if he doesn't stop!

Although, at this point I want to give up then I tell myself I'm "mommy" and this is my child and we're going to fix this! So here is what Mommy is "trying" to do:

Focus on what my child is feeling, not what I am are feeling. 
Psychology 101. I need to remember that he too is human and not the monster child I see him at the moment. Therefore, he is no different  when it comes to wanting to be listened to and understood, If I can understand what he is feeling and show him that, it may work!

Make him my little helper. 
This may sound funny but children are actually programmed to be helpful and cooperative. Even mine! Giving my little one a special task to do before a tantrum happens may prevent or defuse a tantrum. Plus, he will think he's important and just might ask for more things to do. Which I hope stays with him through his teen years!

Don't give in.
This is the number one rule my mother taught me with my first child. I can still hear her voice echoing in my head whenever I was about to give in with my oldest, "You want spoiled brat boy?" By giving in to this one, he will think it's OK to act like that and thus repeating his "performance" in the future. Just like learning what works, this little one will also learn what doesn't work if I just stick to my guns and refuse to let a temper tantrum sway me!


Ignore him. 
Another psychology trick! Kids in general are starved for attention and in the eyes of children, sometimes any attention is good attention. Kids prefer positive attention but if they don’t get that, they will resort to being naughty and throwing a tantrum just so they can illicit some kind of response – good or bad! So, one of the best ways is to ignore the tantrum. So I don’t look at, talk to, or respond to my child until the tantrum stops. To seal the deal, then start lavishing positive attention on them the minute the inappropriate behavior ceases. This sends a clear message that good behavior is the only way to get your attention.

As you may have noticed, the word trying is italicized above. Rightfully so, because this mommy is indeed trying to implement some of these tips with my little one. So far, I can confidently say that not giving in and ignoring him have somewhat worked, till daddy gets home of course! I guess I can toss the idea of making daddy the bad guy since my child loves daddy to pieces (and so does daddy). Maybe I should train daddy? Hmm... next blog article?

So, mommies of 2 year old terrors, what are some other ideas to control your child's tantrums? I would love to hear them from you!












4 comments :

  1. Those are all great things to be doing! I remember when my little one's favorite word was "no" and sometimes it still is! She was asserting her independence.

    Keep up the good work, Mom!

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    1. Hi Ginny! Sorry... For whatever reason you were in my Spam folder! You're right, this little one is showing his independence too. His new favorite word is "Mine!"

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  2. Well, my terror started when he was about 14 months. He figured out to shake his head at a very young age and would go into full out freak fests if I didn't realize when he was really shaking his head to say yes. At that time, I just completely ignored him. It just wasn't worth both of us being upset.

    Now, he's 19 months...and he's still having full-out tantrums, except now it's when he doesn't get his way. Time outs are working pretty good to keep him calm. I keep him in his chair for about 5 minutes, then we talk, and he's back on his way.

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    1. Hi Natasha,

      I think I'm a Facebook addict. I wanted to hit the like button for this :). Kids! I almost shipped mine off to my mom again yesterday. Today, total angel! I hope it all goes away soon!

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